Dear Seeker of Truth, Laughter & Lunar Calendars,

Happy New Year!

Wait… what?

Yes, I said it. Boldly. With both feet on the grass and my third eye twitching with anticipation. Because what if—just what if—the joke’s been on us this whole time?

You see, once upon a time (like, before anyone had a smartphone), New Year’s Day was April 1st. That’s right. Not January 1st, that cold, dark day when nobody’s had enough sleep or vitamin D.

Back in 1564, a certain King Charles IX of France—yes, the French—decided to get fancy and shift New Year’s Day to January 1st. Très bizarre, non?

Now, the French may have given us croissants, romance, and that one seductive way of saying “oui”, but they also gave us… April Fools’ Day.

You see, not everyone got the royal memo about the calendar change. Some poor folks in the countryside kept celebrating the New Year in April—blissfully unaware. So what did the urban, baguette-eating elite do?

They laughed. They mocked. They sent fake party invites and stuck paper fish to people’s backs while yelling “Poisson d’avril!”  (Yes. April Fish. Because apparently nothing screams “new year” like slapping aquatic animals on strangers.)

So technically… yes. The French invented April Fool’s Day by making fun of their own people. Très classy.

And now? We carry on their noble tradition of pranks, confusion, and existential calendar crises.

But wait—it gets juicier.

There are whispers (and TikToks) suggesting we’ve been living in a 12-month matrix instead of the natural 13-moon “moonth” cycle. Thirteen months, each with 28 days. That’s 364 days + 1 day of absolute cosmic party.

So… where’s the missing month?

Probably chilling with Atlantis and your lost left sock.

Some call it the “Veiled Month.” Others say it’s called Smarch (thank you, Simpsons). I say it’s called Youary—because you deserve your own month of reflection, naps, stargazing, and being gloriously out of sync with productivity charts.

And now, on this sacred April 1st, I must confess something:

I’ve been secretly celebrating the New Year today all along. Yes, every spring I put on a glittery robe, eat cake for breakfast, and whisper to the flowers:
“Welcome back, life.” 

So here’s my April Fools’ message to you:

The biggest joke isn’t rubber chickens or fake lottery tickets.
It’s that we forgot how magical spring really is.
How synced we are with the sky.
And how totally bonkers it is to start a new year in the middle of winter.

But the Fool—the sacred, cosmic, slightly ridiculous Fool—remembers.

So today, embrace your inner sacred jester.
Laugh at time. Mock the French just a little.
Celebrate a secret New Year.
And if someone tells you you’re living in the past?

Tell them you’re living in the right rhythm.

Happy 13th Month,
Happy April 1st,
And Happy (Real) New Year.

Love from the Fool Who Knew Too Much,
Jojan Hendirks