There’s a quiet truth most of us learn the hard way. Attention is not intention. They feel like the same thing when you’re in the middle of it. They are not.
Someone can give you a lot of attention. Their eyes light up when you walk in. They text back fast. They lean in close when you talk. And it would be easy, so easy, to read all of that as a promise. But attention is often just a reflection of someone’s emotional state in that moment. I’m enjoying being with you. This is exciting. I love how I feel when I’m falling.
That feeling is real. It creates attention naturally, without effort. But it does not mean someone has decided to take it somewhere. It does not mean they’ve made a choice about tomorrow.
Here is where the heart gets bruised.
We get hurt when we’re giving someone our attention, receiving theirs, and quietly assuming intention from their side… because we feel it so strongly on our own. We do the math in the dark. They’re here, they’re warm, they’re present, so surely they mean what I mean. And without anyone saying a word, we’ve written a future that the other person never agreed to.
That’s the car crash coming down the road. Not because anyone lied. Not because anyone was cruel. Just because two people were running on different things and never noticed.
So let’s make it simple, the way it deserves to be.
Attention is what someone is doing right now.
Intention is where they’re taking it.
One is a moment. The other is a direction. And you are allowed, lovingly, to ask which one you’re standing in. You’re allowed to enjoy attention for what it is without spending your heart on a future that hasn’t been spoken aloud. And when you care about someone, you’re allowed to make your own intention clear instead of hoping they’ll guess.
There’s no shame in feeling deeply. The tender heart is not the problem. The assumption is. So feel fully, give freely, stay open… and let intention be something you both speak, not something you silently hope into being.
Love one another.
The fruit of your tree is love.
