The End is Nigh—Or Maybe It’s Just the Beginning of a Glorious Reset
Dear Cosmic Comrades and Lunar Lunatics,
Hold onto your raccoons, folks—because the FULL MOON on April 13th, 2025 has gone FULL LOONEY. And in the shimmering light of Libra’s cosmic disco ball, we’re being hit with spiritual upgrades, algorithmic breakdowns, and enough wild predictions to make Nostradamus raise a bushy eyebrow.
🤖 Now the bad news:
AI is about to detonate the biggest banking crash in the history of Earth.
Yep. Robo-bankers don’t do “vibe checks,” and when fear hits the fan, they’ll sell everything faster than you can say “Silicon Valley Bank 2.0.”. According to whispers in the digital void and some eerily specific predictions…
It’s not just the bots that are spiraling.
We’ve got tariff tango, inflation drama, and a whole circus of currency devaluation. The dollar’s been flirting with toilet paper status for years, and now the party’s almost over.
🗓️ April 25th, 2025 — The AI-driven bank crash begins. Massive withdrawals. Accounts frozen. Cash becomes compost. Welcome, Central Bank Digital Currency (CBDC).
🗓️ April 27th, 2025 — Strange global sky sightings trigger mass confusion. Interdimensional PR stunt or cosmic photo-op? You decide.
💥 Think of it as the Wile E. Coyote moment—running on momentum, looking down… and realizing there’s no ground under your portfolio.
💸 Here’s the good news:
The global economy is going to be great.
That’s right—bullish vibes are flowing, especially around May 1st, when cosmic confidence starts creeping back in. Stocks might dance. Tariffs might tango. And economists will still be confused.
🌀 The Full Moon is not just a vibe… it’s a cosmic trapdoor.
🗓️ April 13th – The Libra Full Moon opens a Soul-Level Spiritual Activation Portal.
🧬 This energy resurrects your soul, but only if you’re brave enough to let go
🧬 April’s entire energy forecast screams “RESET!”of illusions, stale relationships, and fiat currency.
🕳️ We’re hurtling into a time warp where future and past are simultaneously collapsing into your NOW moment.
(Don’t think too hard about that. Just nod and sip your cacao.)
So what does this mean for you, O Woke One?
It means the Wile E. Coyote moment is real. You know—the part where you’re running off a cliff with momentum, and only fall when you look down.
We are THAT close.
And when the collapse hits, you do not want to be the guy trading a Tesla for a can of beans.
🧰 Emergency Foolproof Prep Checklist:
- ✅ Cash (while it’s still a thing—use it by April 24th)
- ✅ Food & water (enough for 3+ days… primal switch flips fast)
- ✅ Gasoline (especially before May 14th, when earthquake prophecies hit the fan)
- ✅ Generator (don’t rely on smart grids during dumb chaos)
- ✅ Flashlights, candles, and a comfy panic blanket
- ✅ Your journal, your soul, and some chocolate—just in case
⚠️ Bonus Date Warnings:
🗓️ May 14th, 2025 — A predicted 8.6 magnitude earthquake in California and massive tsunami. If it doesn’t happen? Great! If it does? You’ll wish you prepped.
🗓️ April 23, 2025 — A message from an underground civilization (yes, really) warns of a “dividing world.” Aliens? AI? Secret governments? One way or another, it’s popcorn time.
And now, a gentle reminder:
Relax. Breathe. Glow up.
Yes, things are about to get bananas.
Yes, the AI lords may crash the banks.
Yes, your neighbor may go primal over a can of soup.
But also…
✨ YOU are here for this.
This full moon is a portal. A reboot.
A cosmic comedy that requires popcorn, not panic.
And YOU have the awareness to win.
One year from now?
You’ll either be thriving in your self-sustaining homestead powered by moonlight and intuition…
Or laughing hysterically at how you prepped like it was the end of days and it turned out to be the beginning of something beautiful.
So go howl at the moon on April 13th.
🌕 Bury some silver before April 25th.
💫 Meditate, hydrate, and stay on your vibrational high horse.
Because while the world resets…
YOU rise.
Looney, luminous, and lit from within.
With reckless reverence,
Jojan Hendriks
Spiritual Economist & Galactic Survival Humorist
